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The Lived Experience of Non-Fatal Strangulation - Part 1. The Experience

Christmas Day 1994 is etched into my memory for all the wrong reasons. I'd been living with Domestic Violence since 1990 and sadly, due to the hypervigilance; a side effect of constantly living in fear, I instinctively knew today was going to be a bad day for me by the sound of the footsteps on the…


Lifting The Mask of Persona

(Image: Real is Rare by Brett Jordan Courtesy of Unsplash) Narcissistic Traits Increasingly, the term; 'Parental Narcissistic Traits' is being used to describe the childhood experience of a generation of adults brought-up in a strict and controlling, often toxic, sometimes religious environment.…


Religion and Spirituality

Religion and Spirituality Just the mention of the word 'God', has been enough in years gone by, to make me want to turn away, to switch off and roll my eyes knowingly. The words "oh, here we go - more preaching" echoing in my mind. From as far back as I can remember, I have been aware of God. God…


A Message To The Confrontational

Don't ever stop, standing up for yourself! Being a confrontational person is not a bad thing. In fact, in a world where our rights, our opinions and our way of life are constantly under scrutiny by those around us, it is a gift to be able to stand up and say your piece without worrying about the…


Know Thy Self

The Beliefs We Hold The beliefs that we hold about ourselves shape our choices and our lives. If I believe I cannot do a thing or be a thing, the chances are, unless I am willing to challenge the belief I hold about myself, my assumption is likely to be correct - and I cannot do it or be it,…


The Truth About Healing

To be absolutely honest, its messy, emotional, overwhelming and exhausting. But with that comes the most amazing feeling of mental and emotional freedom when you can finally break away from the chains that have been holding you back in your own mind. The limiting beliefs you have had about yourself…


What if?......Why not?...

It's all too easy to let our trauma consume us. It's not something we automatically want to do but for some.....many.... there is seemingly nothing else to focus on to keep us motivated. In my own experience, it was the positive feedback i got from outsiders, teachers, bosses, colleagues,…


A Lesson in Respect

I grew up in the 80s in a mining community in Yorkshire. I played the cornet in the local colliery band. I marched with the Miners when they returned to work defeated, exhausted and broken. I remember the horrors of the miners strike; seeing grown men who I knew, from our village being…


What is a Toxic Relationship.

When we talk about toxic relationships, it is important to understand that it isn't always necessarily the persons involved that are toxic. Quite often it can be the situation itself that becomes toxic because the characters of the people involved clash to a point of making the relationship a…


Daddy's Girl?

From as young as i can remember i was always a daddy's girl. He was always so gentle and soft spoken and never in my life did he ever raise a hand to me. He barely even raised his voice. I recall the day he lost the custody case against my mum for us. We had been with my auntie and he had come to…