Lived Experience Blog
Supporting Nervous System Regulation During Trauma Work:
Learning to care for the helper as well as the person being helped Working with trauma survivors is deeply meaningful, but it can also touch the helper’s nervous system in powerful ways. Regulation is not something we arrive with fully formed — it is a practice we learn over time, often through…
Finding my voice
When I was little I stopped talking. I was about 7 and l lost my voice. Not physically, there was no medical reason, no virus, disease or diagnosable cause. I could still speak when I was with a few people but for the majority of the time I was silent. It began with a stammer, difficulty in saying…
Is It Possible There Can Be Two Selves?
I was recently asked a question that landed quietly but powerfully: “Is it possible there can be two selves?” My answer came without hesitation: “Absolutely.” What follows is not theory offered from a distance, but reflection shaped through lived experience, me search, we search, research —…
Opening the door
I’ve locked you out long enough Kept you away Trying to keep you safe Warm, nowhere near my cold heart I’ve locked that door triple locked and dead bolted it so many times Combination locks where only I know the code Secure and safe Safe from me The me who let you down The me who failed you The…
When “Discipline” Becomes Harm: Understanding Cruelty Disguised as Parenting
When “Discipline” Becomes Harm: Understanding Cruelty Disguised as Parenting There is a kind of harm in childhood that many people never talk about. It doesn’t leave bruises. It doesn’t always involve shouting. Often, it was normalised. And one of the main reasons people stay silent is simple: Many…
Your Body Is Wise: And How We Frame Our Responses Shapes Everything
There’s a line that has been echoing in me ever since I read it: “Your body knows what to do. Your body is wise.” — Yuki Askew - a comment on one of my posts. It spoke to a truth I have lived, witnessed, and now teach every day. The Body Speaks Before the Mind Does There were moments in my life…
The Limits of Your Life Are the Limits You Choose” — But It’s Not the Whole Story
I saw a post today that read: “The limits of your life are the limits you choose.” At first glance it feels inspiring, almost liberating — as if choice alone shapes destiny. But it also got me reflecting on something important: Nothing is relevant until it becomes relevant. Nothing truly lands…
How Trauma Held in the Body Shapes Our Thoughts, Behaviours, and Vulnerabilities
Trauma isn’t just something that happened to us — it’s something that lives in us. It lives in our bodies, in the patterns we learned to survive, and in the emotions we pushed down because they were too much to hold at the time. When old wounds stay unhealed, they don’t disappear. They simply go…
Intergenerational Trauma Isn’t About Blame — It’s About Nervous Systems Doing Their Best
Why children self-soothe, why parents struggle, and how the 7Rs Pathways offer the route to repair We often talk about cycles in families as though they are rooted in deliberate choices or moral failings. But most intergenerational trauma has nothing to do with intentional harm. What truly passes…
When Survivors Heal, Systems Shift
Over the past few weeks, my posts about trauma have sparked some deep conversation and connection. Yet when I spoke about the challenges around funding, gatekeeping, and entrenched thinking within safeguarding systems, the response was very different — absolute silence. I’ve been reflecting on why…