Lived Experience Blog
When Strength Is a Shield
Hyper-independence is often mistaken for strength. It’s praised in society as self-reliance, competence, and resilience. But underneath the polished surface lies a very different story — one of pain, protection, and deep survival. What Is Hyper-Independence? Hyper-independence is the compulsion to…
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When Complex Trauma Shapes Our Thinking It starts as something simple. A message. A warm, friendly “Hey, want to grab a coffee?” But what happens next says far more about trauma than it does about coffee. The message is read — but not replied to. The person who sent it begins to feel a ripple of…
A trauma-informed approach to everyday challenges
Parenting is one of the most important — and most complex — roles we’ll ever take on. It doesn’t come with a manual, and many of us are learning in real time, often while healing from our own past experiences. If you’ve ever found yourself saying things you didn’t mean or reacting in ways that…
What Happens When We Feel Uncomfortable?
What Happens When We Feel Uncomfortable? - And Why That Discomfort Might Be a Clue, Not a Problem Ever felt yourself physically or emotionally pull back when something doesn’t sit right? You hear a story… You read a post… Someone shares something real, raw, painful— And inside, you squirm. You…
Shame Disguised as Motivation
Let’s Talk About Shame Disguised as Motivation Something’s been showing up repeatedly in my feed — and it needs to be addressed. Images of disabled people being used as inspirational tools to shame others: “If I can work with no hands, so can you.” “If you can scroll on social media, you can……
The Other Side of the Desk: The Dehumanising Reality of the Benefits System
When people think about "the benefits system," there’s often a polarised narrative. Some imagine it as a safety net abused by people who don’t want to work, who live off the state in comfort. Others, like me, know the truth firsthand — and it’s not just a different reality, it’s a soul-destroying…
TRUST & RAPPORT
At A Positive Start CIC, we believe that healing doesn’t begin with theory. It begins with safety. And safety begins with TRUST—a trauma-informed framework rooted in lived experience, nervous system science, and human compassion. For those living with complex trauma, especially from early…
Why People-Pleasing isn’t Always Politeness
Most people don't wake up deciding to abandon themselves. They learn to do it over time-because it was safer to appease than to upset, easier to please than to risk rejection. This is called the fawn response. And it's not about kindness. It's about survival. The fawn response is a trauma-informed…
Abandonment: More Than Being Left Behind
There are some wounds we carry that don’t leave visible scars. Abandonment is one of them. It’s not always marked by a door slamming shut or someone walking away. Sometimes, it’s the quiet absence in a room full of people. The unanswered cry. The parent who was there in body, but unreachable in…
See the Human
Thirty years ago, I was a statistic. A survivor of domestic violence. A mother judged as too damaged to recover. A woman professionals expected would fail—and whose children were predicted to follow suit. They were wrong. Today, my children are thriving adults: graduates, home-owners, parents,…