Lived Experience Blog
Filtering Reality: Attention, Awareness, and the Expanding Mind
In The Doors of Perception, Aldous Huxley described something extraordinary. Under the influence of mescaline, a naturally occurring psychedelic compound found in the peyote cactus, his brain activity didn’t increase — it decreased — yet his perception expanded. Colours deepened, time slowed, and…
Learning to Say No: Reclaiming Ourselves Through the STAND Framework
How We Learned to Fear “No” From early childhood, many of us were conditioned to equate obedience with love. When we complied, we were rewarded with affection or approval. When we resisted, expressed anger, or said no, we were met with disapproval, punishment, or withdrawal. We didn’t just learn…
Finding Belonging Away From Home
I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to belong — not just to live somewhere, but to feel that deep exhale of “this is home.” Is it possible to truly belong to a place you weren’t born or raised in? Is belonging something we’re invited into through acceptance — or something that grows…
RAS-A-Mataz! Your Brain’s Sixth Sense in Action
Ever walked into a room and felt something was off before anyone said a word? That’s not imagination — it’s your Reticular Activating System (RAS) at work. The RAS sits deep in the brainstem and acts like your inner filter. It decides what information reaches your awareness and what fades into the…
When People Try to Turn Others Against You
It’s something we see everywhere — from gutter media & politics to workplace bully's, even within families, so called friendships and community groups. Someone hears something they don’t like or disagrees with your truth, and instead of having a respectful conversation, they try to influence…
How Far is “Farthest”? Rethinking the Language of Welfare and Worth
When the Department for Work and Pensions classifies someone as “furthest from the labour market,” it might sound like neutral language — a simple policy term. But for the person it describes, already living in a state of survival, it can feel like a final verdict. “Farthest” sounds unreachable.…
17 Years of A Positive Start: From Rock Bottom to Rising Strong
Seventeen years ago today, I began a journey that I called A Positive Start. At the time, I’d been working on myself for a while, trying to make sense of why I kept ending up back at square one. The thing about dysregulation and survival mode is that while you’re living in it, you don’t see it —…
The Experience of Incongruence: When Words and Energy Don’t Match
There’s a moment we’ve all felt but can’t always explain — when something feels off. The words sound calm, kind, even loving, yet something inside contracts. Your stomach tightens, your breath shortens, and your body whispers, something isn’t right. That moment is the experience of incongruence —…
From Dysregulation to Evil: When Fear Becomes Power and Systems Lose Humanity
Understanding How Disconnection Shapes Behaviour, Narcissism, and Harm When we begin to recognise dysregulation in ourselves, we start to see it everywhere — in others, in relationships, in workplaces, and within the very systems that shape society. What begins as an individual survival response —…
Through the Windows of the Nervous System
How Our Inner State Shapes the Way We See the World In the same room, three people stand side by side — yet each looks out of a different window. One sees harmony. Another sees chaos. The third sees hell. These three windows represent how we experience life through our nervous system. Each window…