Resentment
Letting go of anger can be a lot harder than you realize,especially if you continue to feed your anger by hyper-focusing on negative emotions such as hostility, hate and bitterness, until your anger festers into resentment (Clinic, 2024). If your feelings of being wronged by circumstances or situations go unchecked, you may begin to feel inadequate, which can lead to catastrophic thinking, cognitive dissonance and victimhood (FEE, 2018). Your perceptions and reality become distorted if you hold onto anger (Clinic, 2024). When anger takes residence in your body it can weaken the immune system leading to digestive issues and autoimmune disorders (Clinic, 2024).
Resentment is a complex emotion, and it is often associated with feelings such as guilt, shame and remorse (Clinic, 2024). When you feel resentment, you are emotionally shut off to others, believing that it gives you some sort of control and power(Clinic, 2024). Internally you are engaging in avoidance behaviour which can festers into resentment (Clinic, 2024). Resentment is a poison that affects your self-worth and personal goals, and it will sabotage your expectations (Clinic, 2024).People will become aware of your resentment which may manifest itself as passive–aggressive behaviour or jealousy and they will withdraw from you. You may have urges to seek revenge on others and settle the score (Clinic, 2024). Victimhood is a toxic and violent emotion (FEE, 2018). People who claim victim status will blame others for their resentment (FEE, 2018). Often blame is directed at people you consider a rank higher on the social dominance hierarchy scale (Fee, 2018).
Forgiveness of yourself and others has the power to heal you(Clinic, 2024). Studies show that people who can forgive others have an increased capacity and will carry less stress in the body(Clinic, 2024). Self-reflection will help you to find ways to release the pent-up aggression inside you and replace your anger with healthy coping responses (Clinic, 2024). Self-discoverywill uncover the roots of your resentment and stop the resentment cycle (Clinic, 2024). Empathy for others plays a vital role in stopping resentment from taking hold, by being able to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their perspective (Clinic, 2024). Finding empathy for others helps us have empathy for ourselves and creates the space needed for forgiveness and personal growth (Clinic, 2024).
Being grateful for all that you have is a good starting point.Leaving anger behind you is an act of self-love that will support your future success (Clinic, 2024).
Reference
Clinic, C. (2024). Resentment: How It Can Creep In and Take Hold. [online] Cleveland Clinic. Available at: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-resentment.
Foundation for Economic Education (2018). Confronting the shadow of the victimhood mentality. [online] fee.org. Available at: https://fee.org/articles/confronting-the-shadow-of-the-victimhood-mentality-delving-into-the-psychology-of-the-synagogue-shooting/.