The terms trauma-informed and person-centred are often used in today’s conversations about wellbeing, education, and social care — but rarely do they capture the depth of what these approaches truly mean.
Being trauma-informed is not about excusing poor behaviour or avoiding accountability.
It’s not about being “soft” or turning everyone into snowflakes.
And being person-centred is not about pleasing everyone or offering endless comfort.
Both are about authentic human connection — meeting people with empathy, fairness, and honesty, while maintaining healthy boundaries and encouraging personal responsibility.
Understanding Without Excusing
A trauma-informed approach recognises that pain often drives behaviour — but that pain never justifies harm.
When someone acts from a place of fear, anger, or control, their nervous system is attempting to protect them. Punishment and humiliation don’t teach regulation — they teach fear.
And fear has never worked as a sustainable motivator for change.
It drives behaviour underground, fuels shame, and causes further dysregulation — in both the person receiving it and the person delivering it.
Healing, accountability, and genuine change come from understanding, not punishment.
What Happens in Survival Mode
When someone is triggered, their body instantly shifts into survival mode.
This is not a conscious choice — it’s an automatic response from the nervous system.
The brain detects threat, whether real or perceived, and the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) takes over.
At that moment, logic, reasoning, and calm communication become temporarily unavailable because the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for rational thought — goes offline.
The nervous system activates one of four main survival responses:
- Fight – becoming defensive, argumentative, angry, or controlling.
- Flight – avoiding, escaping, or withdrawing emotionally or physically.
- Freeze – feeling stuck, numb, or unable to speak or act.
- Fawn – appeasing, people-pleasing, or over-accommodating to stay safe.
Each of these is an intelligent, protective response that once kept the person alive.
But when triggered in everyday life, these reactions can create misunderstanding, conflict, or shame — especially when the person themselves doesn’t realise they’re in survival mode.
When Fear Meets Fear
When someone in survival mode meets another person who is also triggered — whether a parent, teacher, partner, colleague, or professional — fear meets fear.
Both nervous systems signal threat.
Both bodies respond with heightened energy, tension, or defensiveness.
No one feels safe enough to listen or connect.
A raised voice, a sharp look, or a judgmental comment can reinforce the sense of danger — even if the intention was to help.
Fear adds to fear, and both people move further away from understanding.
This is where self-awareness and regulation become essential.
When one person pauses, breathes, and grounds themselves, they send a message of safety to the other nervous system.
That’s co-regulation — the healing power of calm presence.
How the TRUST Framework Interrupts the Cycle
Our TRUST framework was created to help individuals and organisations interrupt the fear cycle and return to safety and connection.
T – Trigger Recognition
By recognising triggers — in ourselves first — we step out of reaction and into awareness. Naming the feeling or sensation immediately begins to lower the threat response.
R – Reassurance
Reassurance communicates safety: through tone, eye contact, or calm energy. It tells the other person’s nervous system, “You are not in danger.”
U – Understanding
Understanding dissolves judgment. It allows curiosity to replace criticism and restores compassion — both toward ourselves and others.
S – Safety
Safety rebuilds trust. Whether through environment, language, or consistency, safety enables people to reflect, learn, and grow.
T – Truth
Truth grounds everything. It’s not about being “nice”; it’s about being real.
Truth holds us accountable, builds integrity, and ultimately forms the foundation of trust.
When we practise TRUST, we respond from awareness, not instinct.
We move from reaction to reflection — from fear to presence.
From Awareness to Action – The RAPPORT Approach
The RAPPORT approach complements TRUST by guiding individuals through the inner journey of self-awareness and growth.
R – Recognition – Notice your internal state with honesty.
A – Acceptance – Allow what is present without denial or shame.
P – Process – Gently work through emotions, sensations, and thoughts.
P – Practice – Apply new skills through repetition and self-kindness.
O – Observe – Cultivate mindful awareness of patterns and triggers.
R – Reflect – Learn from each experience with compassion.
T – Transformation – The natural outcome of consistent awareness and understanding.
Together, TRUST and RAPPORT help us respond consciously, connect deeply, and evolve personally — the heart of trauma-informed, person-centred living.
Living the Core Conditions
Carl Rogers’ core conditions of the person-centred approach — Congruence, Unconditional Positive Regard, and Empathic Understanding — are not just counselling tools; they are principles to live by.
- Congruence invites honesty. It’s the alignment of our inner and outer worlds.
- Unconditional Positive Regard reminds us that worth is never earned; it’s inherent.
- Empathic Understanding allows us to walk beside another person without judgement or agenda.
When we embody these qualities, we nurture connection between mind, body, and soul.
We begin to experience life not from survival, but from presence.
This connection is a deeply spiritual experience — not defined by religion, but by relationship:
our relationship with ourselves, with others, and with something greater than fear.
It’s the quiet knowing that we are safe, seen, and significant — and that others are too.
From Theory to Real Life
The TRUST and RAPPORT approaches were developed through my work with others and through my own lived experience of trauma and healing. I saw — in therapy rooms, classrooms, families, and community settings — that fear-based responses don’t heal pain, they multiply it.
Our approaches were born from the need to bridge understanding between theory and real life. They help people make sense of what’s happening in the moment — inside themselves and in others — and give them a language for what they feel but can’t always explain.
In education, for example, children’s connection-seeking behaviour is too often misunderstood as attention-seeking.
This misunderstanding comes from a lack of awareness of the nervous system.
What looks like defiance or disruption is often a child’s way of saying, “I don’t feel safe.”
When teachers, parents, or carers can recognise this through a trauma-informed lens, everything changes.
Instead of escalating the behaviour, they meet the need.
Instead of punishment, there is connection — and from connection, learning and regulation can begin.
Language plays a crucial role here too. Words carry energy and meaning.
A single phrase, tone, or label can either calm or trigger the nervous system.
With the rise in neurodiversity, it’s even more important that we understand how language is received. Many people process words literally, drawing meaning from the exact phrasing rather than the intention behind it.
This is often the case in those who’ve experienced complex trauma, where perception is filtered through a lens of past pain and threat.
A simple comment meant lightly can feel deeply personal when heard through a traumatised or dysregulated nervous system.
That’s why awareness, empathy, and clarity of language are vital — they prevent misunderstanding and rebuild trust.
Being trauma-informed is not about walking on eggshells.
It’s about communicating with care and consciousness — aware that what we say and how we say it can either reinforce fear or restore safety.
A Culture of Compassion with Boundaries
A truly trauma-informed society is not one without conflict — it’s one where conflict can be navigated safely.
It’s a society that values compassion and accountability, empathy and boundaries, honesty and respect.
When we embody the principles of TRUST and RAPPORT, we create relationships — at home, in schools, workplaces, and communities — where people can be both seen and safe.
Where truth replaces fear.
And where healing becomes possible not through control, but through connection.
Because that’s what it really means to be trauma-informed and person-centred —
honest, compassionate, and grounded in truth.
About the Author
Deborah J Crozier is the Founder of A Positive Start CIC and a Trauma-Informed, Person-Centred Counsellor specialising in trauma, emotional regulation, and recovery. Through her lived experience and professional practice, Deborah leads community and professional programs that restore connection, build resilience, and create trauma-informed systems rooted in compassion, safety, and truth.
📍 A Positive Start CIC
8 Sandbed, Hawick, TD9 0HE
📞 (+44) 01450 367422
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