It’s all too easy to let our trauma consume us. It’s not something we automatically want to do but for some…..many…. there is seemingly nothing else to focus on to keep us motivated.
In my own experience, it was the positive feedback i got from outsiders, teachers, bosses, colleagues, friends…strangers even, which kept me in the mindset that i was capable of doing something positive with my own life. I think this is very important for anyone who is lacking the support of family members or for those who are in fact victimised by their own families, to realise that our biggest supporters are often those we dismiss because we expect the positive feedback from those closest to us.
Sometimes we lose sight of our abilities because we have been told too many times we don’t have any by the very people who are supposed to love and care for us but the truth is, it is often the people we come into contact with on our journeys that give us a better evaluation of our capabilities. They are commenting from a non judgemental point of view and are merely saying what they see in us. That’s where our focus is better placed.
Having these influences i believe are our guidance from the universe that our abilities are being recognised but it is up to us to believe it. These are the universal signs we hear and talk about. We have people sent our way, no matter how brief, to come to us with positive input and to build us up bit by bit and instil a feeling of worthiness. No meeting is ever by chance, there is something to be taken from all our human encounters. They were never all meant to be negative.
What if, instead of being chipped down by the negative comments we have heard about ourselves, we were to focus solely on the positive comments. What if..we dismiss the opinions of people who don’t nearly have their own life together or are living a lie themselves. What if…we could better understand that insults and put downs are nothing more than a projection of the pain inside the person who is saying those things to us? If only it was as easy to accept the positive like we do the negative.
Who is anyone really to devalue our worth? What gives anyone the right to make us feel so rejected? We know the answer to these questions are no one and nothing, so why do we take their word as truth?
Why not, instead of reacting to these people, we simply say….”i hope you heal from whatever drives you to want to hurt others”. That’s where our power lies.
What if…we stopped taking things personally and instead think, “what do i have that intimidates people to the point they have to try and pull me down”?
When we change how we perceive the view of others…we change how we feel about it.
By Sharon Paxton