Copyright© 2021. Deborah J Crozier.

The right of Deborah J Crozier to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All Rights Reserved.

No part of this works may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of the Copyright owner.

The 3 C’s of Manipulation


People who manipulate and abuse others, begin by taking control of the situation. Keen observers, they seek vulnerability in others, instinctively knowing who to target and how. They will use their knowledge, skills, charm, charisma, gaslighting and powers of persuasion to convince people of things that they may not otherwise be inclined to trust, believe or involve themselves in.  In our Grooming Behaviours course,  we refer to this process as ‘The Invisible Seduction’.


People who manipulator others, aim to confuse. They may overwhelm their victims with information; questioning,  focusing and narrowing their attention. They deliberately prevent the victim from having the space to consider what is right for themselves. This may be experienced by the victim as overwhelm or bombardment. Should the victim be given the opportunity to stop and think about the situation, they may come to realize how awkward or uncomfortable they feel, which is dangerous territory for a manipulator, who is likely to be pursuing an agenda of their own.


The manipulator’s intention or end game is often to obtain an outcome that is in some way beneficial for themselves. They pursue their goals without any consideration to the victim or the consequences that the victim will face.
An unsuspecting victim may assume they are being over-dramatic, or are maybe reading too much into a manipulator’s action. Due to the mask of persona, the victim may fail to recognise the manipulator’s true intentions, reinforced by the gaslighting and the manipulators coercive behaviours. As a result, the victim is often left confused and compromised, having trusted what appears to make sense at the time, only to later discover that its all been a big show. Victims often beat themselves in the aftermath having inadvertently ‘gone along with’, or responded in ways that would not be of their choosing and which may not reflect the victim’s true values or beliefs, had they been privy to the truth.