Examine your Core Beliefs!
Healing and prevention requires love, compassion and empathy…
As children, we apply meaning to experiences … Whenever we are excluded, bullied, abused, ignored, not believed, blamed.. The meaning (Because as young children we tend to view adults as perfect beings that make no mistakes.. ) the meaning applied tends to be – ‘it can’t be them, it must be me… there must be something wrong with me – ‘I AM not good enough’
‘I’m not good enough’ becomes a core belief.. I’m not good enough.. I don’t belong.. . I’m not good enough also means … I don’t belong.. I’m unlovable.. I don’t matter …I’m unimportant…
This belief often has us thinking the worst of ourselves.. accepting less for ourselves.. tolerating abusive relationships.. risking burn out rather than saying No because boundaries are non existent for people who worry about being excluded due to a deep rooted fear of not belonging…
Those core beliefs are triggered & erupt as adults … whenever we find ourselves in situations where we feel like ‘we don’t belong, we are not believed, we are ignored, not good enough!
The fear; ‘deep down is – I fear I don’t belong, I’m not good enough & now you’re behaviour towards me (perceived or real) confirms my worst fears about myself…. this belief overwhelms me with negative thoughts and feelings about myself .. often overwhelming my ability to cope as I’m ill equipped & don’t know how to regulate my nervous system.
Being seen & heard matters, it helps me to realise ‘I Matter’ a starting point.. Beliefs are just thoughts that we keep on thinking… examine, challenge & change the core beliefs…
Image credited to Dr. Mine Conkbayir, (Award winning author, Training provider & Early years Consultant-LinkedIn)