‘How do you feel?’ Is a question I ask people frequently …
Not everyone has the words to express how they feel…
‘Okay’! … is a popular answer -but what does ‘okay’ actually mean?
T truth is, not everyone knows how to feel their emotions let alone knowing how to describe them.
Have you ever considered why do so many adults bury their emotions rather than feeling them?
Or Why so many adults feel the need to try to suppress other people’s emotions? Feeling uneasy and embarrassed when someone else displays frustration for example?
Adults and parents today understand far more than previous generations did about emotions .. although we still have a long way to go…
Reminder…
Emotions – E… Motions = Energy in motion
Trauma = Energy compressed … compressed energy that we keep adding to when we bury rather than Feel our emotions…
What do adults tend say to a child who reacts with frustration or snatches back when another child takes a toy from them?
“Don’t do that – play nice” perhaps ?
“They are younger than you – they don’t know any better, let them play”?
What were you taught as a child? What is your experience? Were you encouraged and told it was okay to feel upset or frustrated or were you told ‘No – don’t act like that?
What is a child who is upset likely to be feeling inside?
Frustration, Anger, Hurt, Injustice?
What is the child taught to with these heavy painful emotions?
“No… Don’t …. don’t react that way!
Okay .. so what Do we do with these heavy emotions?
Who taught you how to deal with those big feelings that you experience growing up?
Hurt, anger, frustration, etc..
How?
Where did they go? The Body keeps the score!!! Emotions are held in the body and come out either as physical ailments, self harm or explosive fits of anger & rage when triggered!
Some adults don’t know how to deal with other people expressing emotion…
They feel uncomfortable ..
Congruence is a word we use a lot at A Positive Start ..
Congruence is when your inner feelings match up with your outer expressions..
Happy = Laugh
Sad = Cry
Etc…
Learning how to express emotions in a healthy way is important..
It’s important we understand that our behaviour impacts others…
Throwing or punching in anger is an outer expression of an inner feeling but it’s a destructive behaviour that can negatively impact others..
Learning how to express emotions in a safe and healthy manner is an essential part of the healing process… otherwise we calm down and feel guilty for reacting badly and further add to the negative feelings…
How you feel matters …
How you feel about yourself matters most…
Learning how to feel is essential for recovery …
‘You cannot heal what you cannot feel’
Self Discovery for Recovery … compassionate self-leadership program by A Positive Start CIC