Blog
I Remember the People; Being Human in a World of Labels
I woke up this morning thinking about being human. Not left or right. Not black or white. Not gay or straight. Not immigrant or native. Not rich or poor. Not one of the ever-growing collection of words we use to explain who somebody is before we’ve even spoken to them. Just human. Perhaps it is…
The Need to Belong: What You See Isn’t Always Who I Am
Sometimes what looks like evidence isn’t really evidence at all. It’s an observation to which we’ve added a story. I’ve been thinking about this in relation to myself recently. There have been times when I’ve enthusiastically said yes to something, committed myself to it and then, further down the…
Caring Without Carrying: Protecting Ourselves When We Listen to Trauma
Many professionals and volunteers regularly listen to people describing trauma, abuse, loss and deeply painful experiences. We may be counsellors, support workers, advocates, healthcare professionals, safeguarding leads, emergency responders, helpline volunteers—or simply the person others trust…
Falling for a Narcissist: A Survivor’s Perspective, Twelve Years On
In 2014, I wrote a series of blogs called Falling for a Narcissist: A Victim Perspective. At the time, I was reflecting, trying to understand and make sense of a relationship that had left me frightened, confused and deeply wounded. The person involved had been diagnosed with a personality…
Neuroplasticity, Hypervigilance, and the RASamataz Plot Twist
One of the concepts we explore in our Reconnect & Regulate programme (starting Monday 29th June) is neuroplasticity – the brain’s remarkable ability to change, adapt, and form new neural pathways throughout our lives. The image below captures an important truth, although I’d add a little…
The POT of Perception: How Awareness Brings Clarity
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin This simple sentence captures one of the most important truths about being human. Our experience of the world is shaped not only by what is happening around us, but by what is happening within us. Recently, I came across an image…
When Does Persuasion Become Manipulation?
As many of you know, one of the topics I explore in our STAND – Parents as Protectors workshops is manipulation. Not always the obvious kind. Not the dramatic, easy-to-spot kind. The subtle kind. The kind that influences perception before we have even realised it is happening. Recently, I found…
When Survival Becomes a Way of Life
Earlier this week, I had the privilege of being invited by Florence Koenderink to join a conversation about her work, Beyond the Trauma Wall. I’ve found myself reflecting on that conversation ever since. As a trauma-informed practitioner, and as someone with lived experience of trauma, Florence’s…
Leaving Dorsal
There was a time in my life when I was considered “farthest from the labour market.” At that point, I struggled to look people in the eye. Shame sat heavily in my body. Fear kept me small, quiet, and disconnected from my own potential. It wasn’t just anxiety. Whenever I had to stand up in front of…
Supporting Nervous System Regulation During Trauma Work:
Learning to care for the helper as well as the person being helped Working with trauma survivors is deeply meaningful, but it can also touch the helper’s nervous system in powerful ways. Regulation is not something we arrive with fully formed — it is a practice we learn over time, often through…