Blog
Withholding Information
What do you need to know? As mentioned in a number of my blogs, one form of coercive behaviour is; the withholding of information. We can only make informed decisions when we are privy to all the information that is available at the time, even if the information is limited, and only allows for a…
Are White Lies, Just Lies made to Fit?
True story! About 25 years ago, a close friend was really excited to tell me all about the new love interest in their life. The friend had not been very lucky in love up to this point, and so it was wonderful to see her so radiant and happy. Keen to learn more, I asked how they’d met and she…
What's the difference?
My first job, many, many years ago, when I was still a naïve teenager, I was a YTS trainee Medical Receptionist in a local medical practice. Usually, at lunchtimes I'd nip across to the local bakery to buy a sandwich for my lunch as did a number of my colleagues. I recall a particular occasion…
Choice and the power of suggestion
I give numerous examples of coercive behaviours and what those behaviours can look like in my training; STAND a toolkit for the prevention of Grooming Behaviours, explaining how and why these behaviours are so often, easily missed. Grooming Behaviours; because I offer examples of manipulative,…
A Fear of Being Heard
Talking out loud Like many people I know, I have struggled with speaking in public for as long as I can remember. My reluctance to engage not only restricted to public speaking, but public appearances in general, photographs, interviews, anything that requires the promotion of self has been…
The person who has hurt me the most....
"Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who do not value you! Know your worth, even if they don't"! (Thema Davis) The most important lesson that I have learned on this journey we call life, was in realizing the identity of the person who has caused me the most pain.…
Falling for a Narcissist. Part 1.
Falling for a Narcissist: A Victim Perspective (Pt. 1) Introduction What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? (NPD) NPD is a mental health condition that usually develops in adolescence or early adulthood and is characterized by; Persistent Grandiosity A superior sense of self/Inflated sense of…
Falling for a Narcissist. Part 5.
Falling for a Narcissist: A Victim Perspective (Pt.5) What does a healthy relationship actually look like? Some of us may be guilty of entertaining an unrealistic romantic notion when it comes to relationships. The idea of being whisked away from the 9 to 5 grind by a perfectly formed,…
Falling for a Narcissist. Part 4.
Falling for a Narcissist: A Victim Perspective (Pt 4) Recap Having found their ideal partner in phase 1- the (Idealization) phase, only to be dropped from a great height in phase 2 – the (Devaluation) phase, the victim is usually devastated and exhausted by the time the narcissist is ready…
Falling for a Narcissist. Part 3.
Falling for a Narcissist: A Victim Perspective (Pt. 3) Recap: In Part 1 of this 5 part blog, we focused on the first phase of a narcissistic relationship, known as Idealization, as experienced by the victim. By breaking phase 1 down into the 6 Stage Process, we were better able to understand how…