Lived Experience Blog
We Need to Stop ...
We Need to Stop Tiptoeing Around This Conversation… I have delivered the STAND Grooming Prevention workshop to countless child protection charities and safeguarding teams over the years. Every time, the feedback is the same: Can you see how STAND contributes to grooming prevention? – YES Can…
Flow: The Joy of Being in Alignment
Years ago, while waiting in a dentist’s office, I read an article that stayed with me. It told the story of a high-profile marketing executive who, burned out and exhausted, retreated to New Zealand in search of work-life balance. When one of the indigenous staff members picked him up, he asked…
Why Disorder?
Why Disorder? Why Not Response? Why Not Adaptation? For so many who have experienced complex trauma, the word disorder can feel like a label they’ve carried since childhood. “There’s something wrong with you,” the world tells us, and after hearing it long enough, it becomes easier to accept. But…
Blame
The Futility of Blame I was chatting with someone recently about how each generation believes they’ll do better than the one before. Many parents strive to provide a better life for their children—more comfort, more opportunity, more protection from hardship. But in doing so, they sometimes shield…
Understanding Trauma
Understanding Trauma, Disconnection, and Vulnerability to Manipulation One of the most important yet misunderstood aspects of trauma is how it disconnects us—from ourselves and from others. And this disconnection doesn’t just leave us feeling isolated; it also makes us more vulnerable to…
The Dorsal Space
There’s a place beyond exhaustion, beyond sadness, beyond fear. A place where the weight of everything drags you down so completely that movement feels impossible. Where the black cloud of doom doesn’t just hover—it swallows.This is dorsal collapse. It’s not just being “stuck.” It’s being buried.…
The Human Cost of Benefit Cuts: Why Compassion Must Come First
Cuts to benefits for people struggling with mental health issues are more than just financial decisions—they are attacks on survival, dignity, and humanity. For those reliant on the system, simply hearing that benefits may be cut can send their nervous system into survival mode. The body perceives…
Adolescence, Grooming & Disconnection: Why STAND Has Never Been More Urgent
For the past ten years, I’ve been trying to share STAND: Parents as Protectors – a program designed to help parents, caregivers, and professionals recognise grooming behaviours, build confident boundaries, and reconnect to the instincts that protect both themselves and their children.…
The Body Keeps the Score: A Real-Life Experience
In 2018, I was in a road traffic collision. A speeding van hit my stationary car as I waited to turn into my driveway. The impact knocked me unconscious, and I suffered a head injury. A truck driver who witnessed the crash blocked the road and climbed into the back of my wrecked car. Though I have…
True Acceptance
In a world full of differing perspectives, beliefs, and experiences, one of the greatest challenges we face is learning how to truly accept both ourselves and others—without judgment, without the need for agreement, and without losing ourselves in the process. At its core, true acceptance is about…