Survivors Blog
The Need to Belong: What You See Isn’t Always Who I Am
Sometimes what looks like evidence isn’t really evidence at all. It’s an observation to which we’ve added a story. I’ve been thinking about this in relation to myself recently. There have been times when I’ve enthusiastically said yes to something, committed myself to it and then, further down the…
Caring Without Carrying: Protecting Ourselves When We Listen to Trauma
Many professionals and volunteers regularly listen to people describing trauma, abuse, loss and deeply painful experiences. We may be counsellors, support workers, advocates, healthcare professionals, safeguarding leads, emergency responders, helpline volunteers—or simply the person others trust…
Falling for a Narcissist: A Survivor’s Perspective, Twelve Years On
In 2014, I wrote a series of blogs called Falling for a Narcissist: A Victim Perspective. At the time, I was reflecting, trying to understand and make sense of a relationship that had left me frightened, confused and deeply wounded. The person involved had been diagnosed with a personality…
The POT of Perception: How Awareness Brings Clarity
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin This simple sentence captures one of the most important truths about being human. Our experience of the world is shaped not only by what is happening around us, but by what is happening within us. Recently, I came across an image…
Leaving Dorsal
There was a time in my life when I was considered “farthest from the labour market.” At that point, I struggled to look people in the eye. Shame sat heavily in my body. Fear kept me small, quiet, and disconnected from my own potential. It wasn’t just anxiety. Whenever I had to stand up in front of…
Seeing the Person, Not the Problem
It’s been a tough week. A week of study and learning. My own MSc reading. Supporting others with theirs. Noticing how theory is learned… & then how it translates into real lives. Later in the week, I read case studies, medical & session notes from across clinical professions — GPs,…
Is It Possible There Can Be Two Selves?
I was recently asked a question that landed quietly but powerfully: “Is it possible there can be two selves?” My answer came without hesitation: “Absolutely.” What follows is not theory offered from a distance, but reflection shaped through lived experience, me search, we search, research —…
When “Discipline” Becomes Harm: Understanding Cruelty Disguised as Parenting
When “Discipline” Becomes Harm: Understanding Cruelty Disguised as Parenting There is a kind of harm in childhood that many people never talk about. It doesn’t leave bruises. It doesn’t always involve shouting. Often, it was normalised. And one of the main reasons people stay silent is simple: Many…
The Limits of Your Life Are the Limits You Choose” — But It’s Not the Whole Story
I saw a post today that read: “The limits of your life are the limits you choose.” At first glance it feels inspiring, almost liberating — as if choice alone shapes destiny. But it also got me reflecting on something important: Nothing is relevant until it becomes relevant. Nothing truly lands…
How Trauma Held in the Body Shapes Our Thoughts, Behaviours, and Vulnerabilities
Trauma isn’t just something that happened to us — it’s something that lives in us. It lives in our bodies, in the patterns we learned to survive, and in the emotions we pushed down because they were too much to hold at the time. When old wounds stay unhealed, they don’t disappear. They simply go…