For the past ten years, I’ve been trying to share STAND: Parents as Protectors – a program designed to help parents, caregivers, and professionals recognise grooming behaviours, build confident boundaries, and reconnect to the instincts that protect both themselves and their children.
I’ve been invited to speak about this work at the NSPCC in London, the Home Office and other safeguarding spaces.
Every time, the response has been the same; ‘this is excellent’, ‘this is important’ ‘I can see how this contributes to prevention’ – but – we don’t want to scare anyone’! People nod in agreement, acknowledge the risks, and express concern about the rising dangers children face. And yet, safeguarding only seems to become urgent when its already too late.
The reality is, child exploitation, grooming and manipulation are deeply uncomfortable topics. No one wants to imagine that their child – or any child – could be at risk. Parents and professional alike often assume.
- “I would know if something was wrong”
- “My child would tell me”
- “This only happens in ‘vulnerable’ families
‘There is no one more vulnerable than those who imagine they are not’!
Manipulation thrives in silence and self- doubt. Grooming is designed to go unnoticed – both by the child and the adults around them. It works by eroding trust in internal signals, creating confusion, and shifting boundaries so gradually that by the time danger is recognised, harm has often already occurred.
And so, safeguarding conversations get pushed aside. They feel too alarmist, too heavy, too ‘far removed from daily life. Until a high-profile case hits the news. Until a parent realises too late that their child has been interacting with someone unsafe. Until the harm has already been done.
Netflix’s new mini-series ‘Adolescence’ has sparked intense conversations about bullying, misogyny, and the dangers young people face – online and in real life.
The show follows the story of a 13-year-old boy accused of murdering a girl in his school, raising unsettling questions about peer influence, manipulation and emotional disconnection.
For many, this series is a wake-up call. But for those of us working in child protection, it’s a familiar reality.
I created STAND: Parents as Protectors in 2015 after supporting adults who had experienced childhood abuse. I saw first-hand how trauma disconnects people from their instincts, making them more vulnerable to manipulation and harm. I also recognised the urgent need to equip parents and caregivers with the tools to protect their children before harm occurs.
What I’ve learned over the past decade is this:
Safeguarding isn’t just about learning red flags – It’s about reconnection.
When we are disconnected from ourselves, from our instincts, from subtle signals that something isn’t right – we become easier to manipulate and the same is true for our children.
When children (and caregivers) become emotionally disconnected – whether due to trauma, stress or social conditioning – it leaves the vulnerable to;
- Grooming and Manipulation
- Toxic peer pressure and harmful online influences
- Confusion around boundaries and self-worth
A disconnected child may struggle to recognise when something feels off.
A disconnected parent may second-guess their instincts when something doesn’t seem right
This is how manipulation thrives – by creating doubt and overriding inner warning signals.
That’s why STAND: Parents as Protectors doesn’t just focus on identifying grooming behaviours. It also teaches;
- Reconnect & Regulate – so they can guide from a place of awareness
- Recognise internal cues – strengthening instincts that protect against manipulation
- Practice confident boundaries – modelling safety for children
- Reduce risk of manipulation – by fostering strong, self-trusting children
- Identify grooming behaviours – recognising tactics and common behaviours used to exploit vulnerability
Because real safeguarding isn’t about living in fear. It’s about building connection, awareness and trust – so that when something isn’t right, we recognise it and act before it’s too late.
For the first time, STAND: Parents as Protectors is being delivered as a six-week workshop, combining everything I’ve learned about safeguarding, trauma and reconnection
Join us for the Live STAND: Parents as Protectors 6 Week Workshop
Thursday Evenings 6pm-8pm
Starts: 1st May 2025 – Ends 5th June 2025
Venue: A Positive Starts Safe Learning Space – 8, Sandbed, Hawick, TD9 0HE, Scottish Borders
Contact Us to Register Your Interest
Online Workshop Available Soon