Those of us of a certain age will remember the board game Guess Who where based on questions about appearance or features we eliminated characters to work out who our opponent was describing, who their mystery person was. I spent many hours playing the game with my cousin, hoping they wouldn’t ask the right questions.
Simple clues solved the mystery.
Identifying perpetrators of abuse, grooming and sexual exploitation isn’t as simple.
I recently read a comment on a post about Epstein that stated it seemed impossible that a certain politician could be a paedophile or an extortionist because:
he was married to driven and educated women
he was extremely wealthy
he’d had relationships with many women in his life
he was an accomplished man
This didn’t apparently fit the profile of a pedophile who the commenter felt would be unaccomplished and not participating in the above world of women and success.
They doubted he would have had “sex with a kid” based on the above stated observations.
(I remind people that having sex with a kid is a dangerous and harmful description: a child cannot consent, it is abuse and rape of a child, not “with”.)
I see many comments similar to this about wealthy or influential people being unlikely culprits for sexual abuse crimes.
I hear conversations dismissing suggestions that a rich or connected person could be involved in grooming or abuse. The statements often include explanations like:
“He doesn’t need to do that, he could have anyone he wanted”
“He wouldn’t lower himself to go with prostitutes” (in a conversation about children)
“He has too much to lose why risk it”
“He has kids of his own, so highly unlikely”
“But she’s a, well women don’t do that stuff”
“But she gives a lot to charity”
“He just isn’t the type you know”
“Well they are over 18 and they knew what they were getting into”
“Probably just want money from him”
In my lived experience the people who identify, target and groom children and adults come from various backgrounds and ways of life and all communities.
In my lived experience the people who sexually exploit children also come from a variety of backgrounds and lifestyles and communities.
The people who managed, enabled, ran, over saw and directed the group based, organised grooming rings in a largely rural area and in the near by larger towns and city were:
Scottish, British
Professional
Wealthy
Well connected
Respected and admired in their community and environment
Aged 30 to 70
Male and female
In fields including law, justice, protection, medical and health care, property, business, media, banking, education, police, business ownership.
Many were successful business people, entrepreneurs and property owners.
They had families of their own.
Many were involved in authorities and systems delivering community services
Some were titled, seen as elite
They were wealthy.
They travelled to expensive places and spent their time in exclusive hotels and bars.
They were viewed as accomplished and successful.
They were highly educated.
They mixed in professional circles.
These successful people, men and women, were directly involved and were actively enabling the group based exploitation of children and adults in Scotland and northern England.
This was a few years ago but I see no evidence that it isn’t happening today. I see patterns, training, opportunity and the environment where these groups are not just existing but thriving. Grooming rings exist everywhere and in my experience they involve people from the elite, professional, wealthy and well connected communities.
These successful people ran grooming rings. Those rings included perpetrators from many levels, classes and backgrounds.
These accomplished people arranged the grooming, abuse, rape, violent harm, manipulation and exploitation of children and adults.
They took part in violence and abuse and grooming.
They arranged and facilitated the intimidation and manipulation of families and those close to their targets.
They funded the operations of the rings, through business deals, professional favours, loans and financing, providing flats and offices and businesses where the abuse and grooming could occur in plain sight yet unnoticed.
They applied professional and financial pressure to anyone who may reveal the truth.
They financed gifts, bribes, facilities and environments.
They looked like our friends, our families, our locals, because they were.
They looked like our community heroes, our kind hearted local providers, our friendly business folk, because they were.
Until we as a society, until our communities and the structures with can fully accept that wealth or status does not mean safety then we will continue to fail in combating grooming rings and exploitation.
Until we accept that perpetrators are within and often leaders in our environments then we will fail to see what is in plain sight.