“Trauma-informed” is everywhere these days — in policies, training packs, and job descriptions.

But too often, what’s being sold as trauma-informed is little more than a performance: polished language, token gestures, and box-ticking exercises that fail to go beneath the surface.

Let’s be clear.

Being trauma-informed isn’t something you complete. It’s something you live.

Being trauma-informed starts with recognising that trauma is not rare, and it’s not always visible.

It lives in nervous systems, in body language, in silence, in overcompensation, in withdrawal, in fire and in freeze.

And the people you meet — colleagues, clients, friends, family — are more likely than not carrying some form of it.

So what does it really mean to be trauma-informed?

A Truly Trauma-Informed Approach Involves:

1. Curiosity Over Judgement

Asking “What happened to you?” rather than “What’s wrong with you?”

Being trauma-informed means holding back assumptions, and leaning into gentle, compassionate curiosity.

2. Lived Experience as Expertise

It honours those who’ve been through it — not by reducing them to their trauma, but by recognising the insight, strength, and understanding they carry.

It doesn’t silence people with lived experience; it amplifies their voices and values their contribution.

3. Safety That’s Felt, Not Just Promised

Policies might say “you’re safe here,” but real trauma-informed spaces create a felt sense of safety — emotionally, psychologically, and relationally. That means consistency, consent, boundaries, and presence.

4. Power With, Not Power Over

True trauma-informed practice shares power. It moves away from hierarchy and dominance, and toward collaboration, transparency, and mutual respect.

5. Embodied Practice

It’s not just knowing the theory — it’s living the values. How you speak. How you listen. How you respond when someone struggles.

It’s knowing that regulation is contagious, and that calm, non-defensive presence is more healing than any clever words.

6. Systems Awareness

Trauma doesn’t happen in a vacuum. A trauma-informed approach understands the broader systems that contribute to distress — including poverty, racism, abuse, neglect, and exclusion — and works to challenge, not reinforce, those patterns.

Judgement is Not Safeguarding

Too often, safeguarding is used as a justification to pry, to exclude, to control.

But real safeguarding doesn’t come from suspicion — it comes from connection.

It comes from people who know what danger looks like because they’ve faced it — and have vowed to stop the cycle.

There is nothing trauma-informed about creating hoops for survivors to jump through.

There is nothing trauma-informed about reducing someone’s entire history to a checkbox.

There is nothing trauma-informed about speaking about people, rather than with them.

And let’s be honest — this invasive, sneaky-peeking, covert behaviour of “checking people out” behind the scenes?

It’s creepy.

It’s dishonest.

It’s not safe behaviour.

It mimics the very dynamics survivors are trying to recover from: power used without consent, trust violated without cause.

If your safeguarding practices feel more like surveillance than support, it’s time to stop and reflect:

Who are you really protecting — and at what cost?

Trauma-Informed Is a Culture, Not a Credential

It’s not a one-day training.

It’s not an accreditation.

It’s not buzzwords like “resilience” or “wellbeing” with no action behind them.

It’s a culture.

It’s a commitment to care.

It’s an ongoing practice of humility, presence, and responsibility.

Let’s Change the Script

If you truly want to be trauma-informed, don’t start with policies.

Start with people.

Start with humility.

Start by listening — really listening — to those who’ve lived through what you’re trying to prevent.

Because lived experience isn’t the problem.

It’s the missing piece.

I’ve spent a lifetime learning the hard way, so others don’t have to.

If you’re building safeguarding systems, training staff, or claiming to be trauma-informed — please don’t just use the language.

Live it.

Because what survivors need is not more judgment.

What we need is safety, dignity, and to finally be seen as whole.

#TraumaInformed

#LivedExperienceMatters

#TraumaInformedPractice

#ListenToSurvivors

#BeyondTheBuzzwords

#safeguardingwithintegrity

#powerwithnotpowerover