According to Jung, the ‘Devouring Mother’ archetype, consumes her children psychologically and emotionally, preventing their independence from her (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). This mother is selfish rather than selfless. She acts as if she is protecting her children from the real world, while she is sabotaging their independence by not teaching them life skills (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). By infantilizing the child, the mother keeps the child helpless and maintains her need to feel superior by getting attention in the form of sympathy from others (Psychology Today, 2022). The devouring mother acts lovingly until her child shows signs of dissent or independence, then the child will be met with rejection and devaluation by the mother (Psychology Today, 2022). At times of genuine need the devouring mother may not have the necessary coping skills to support her child and may reject the child as weak and abandon the child emotionally (Psychology Today, 2022). This pattern of parenting may be a learned generational trauma pattern (Know Your Archetypes, 2020).
Unless the child reflects the mother’s values or gives them bragging rights the mother will actively malign their child’s potential and steal the child’s competence (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). Normal dependency needs by the child is pathologized and neglected by the mother (Psychology Today, 2022). The mother’s controlling behaviour is often passed off as a virtue (Psychology Today, 2022). The child may have been parentified by the mother who exploited or pushed their child into an adult role such as a best friend, nurse, pseudo spouse or therapist (Psychology Today, 2022). For the child this parenting is profoundly traumatizing and may result in long-term nervous system hyperactivation and long-term health problems (Psychology Today, 2022). The child will have a lack of independence, difficultly making friends and an inability to cope with stress or adversity, anxiety or depression (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). At the extreme end of this archetype is Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy where the seemingly caring and concerned mother is simultaneously harming her child (Schreier, 1992).
Teaching a child important life skills would empower growth, confidence and independence away from the devouring mother (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). A mother making her children competent and courageous makes them safe and resilient in the world. A resilient child will not fear moving forward in life and they will have a belief in their own competence to prevail. The devouring mother is herself not capable of independence and is usually co-dependent on the child to meet her needs (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). The devouring mother must keep the role of looking after the child even when the child reaches adulthood, to ensure that she is not left alone (Know Your Archetypes, 2020). Educating ourselves about toxic relationships and learning about our own individual strength helps to break the cycle of this type of control.
Reference
Know Your Archetypes. (2020). What is the Devouring Mother Archetype? (Characteristics + Examples). [online] Available at: https://knowyourarchetypes.com/devouring-mother-archetype/.
Psychology Today. (2022). 13 Ways Narcissistic Parents Sabotage Their Children. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-narcissist-in-your-life/202211/13-ways-narcissistic-parents-sabotage-their-children [Accessed 31 Jan. 2025].
Schreier, H.A. (1992). The perversion of mothering: Munchausen syndrome by proxy. Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic, [online] 56(4), pp.421–37. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1422520/.