Blog
Trauma-Informed Isn’t a Buzzword — It’s a Way of Being
“Trauma-informed” is everywhere these days — in policies, training packs, and job descriptions. But too often, what’s being sold as trauma-informed is little more than a performance: polished language, token gestures, and box-ticking exercises that fail to go beneath the surface. Let’s be clear.…
His Eyes Went Black!
Why survivors remember the eyes—and why it’s never just imagination There’s a moment I’ll never forget. I’d seen flashes of it before, but this time it was different - clearer. This time, it came with an eerie silence, a stillness that thickened the air around us. An abusive ex-partner —initially…
Nurture is the difference
Nurture Makes the Difference: What I’ve Learned About Home, Safety, and Connection I’ve always been able to feel the difference between a home that’s warm, welcoming and safe… and one that isn’t. Some homes feel like a deep exhale. Like you can take your shoes off, unclench your jaw, and finally…
Masters of Illusion
Narcissists are masters of illusion. They construct a carefully curated #persona designed “to be seen to be one thing” — often charming, capable, or altruistic — while their real intentions are rooted in #manipulation, control, or self-preservation. The danger lies in the #incongruence: what they…
Toxic Duality
‘Toxic duality’ - the harmful contradiction between the persona someone presents to your face (warm, supportive, complimentary) and the truth of their behaviour behind your back (critical, undermining, deceitful or dismissive). This isn’t just about being two-faced—it’s about the emotional harm…
The Measure of Me
From the moment we are born, the measuring begins. How quickly we walk. How early we talk. How much we weigh. How well we behave. There’s always a chart, a milestone, a checklist — a standard someone else has set. We are prodded, praised, or pushed based on how we match up. “On track,” they say.…
The Cost of Care: Reflections on Holding a Community Space
There’s a kind of support that doesn’t always look like “help” — not at first glance. It happens in a small room, a circle of chairs, a soft conversation. It’s a steady presence, a grounding exercise, a moment where someone breathes a little easier. No fanfare. No waiting lists. No clinical forms.…
The Power of Being Underestimated
The Power of Being Underestimated: Walking the Road Less Travelled My dad would often joke - “If there are two options, you always choose the wrong one first.” Maybe he was right. Or maybe it wasn’t wrong – just different. From the early days, when I was considered “furthest from the labour…
Lost and Found – Memory, Love, and the Body’s Hidden Stories
May 14th holds a unique weight in my heart, a day stitched together with the threads of loss and love, echoes of the past that still ripple through my present. In 1977, at just seven years old, I stepped into a new life in Zambia, eyes wide with wonder and a heart full of adventure. Our family’s…
Trauma Informed Communication in Healthcare: Why It’s Not Optional
Why Trauma-Informed Communication in Healthcare Isn’t Optional As a trauma-informed counsellor, I’ve seen firsthand the devastating impact of poorly delivered medical news. I once worked with a client who had a profound fear of dying. Every time they visited their oncologist, they would call me in…