We Need to Stop Tiptoeing Around This Conversation…
I have delivered the STAND Grooming Prevention workshop to countless child protection charities and safeguarding teams over the years. Every time, the feedback is the same:
- Can you see how STAND contributes to grooming prevention? – YES
- Can you see how STAND contributes to the prevention of child abuse? – YES
- Can you see how STAND protects children and families? – YES
- Will you recommend this workshop to others? – Don’t know. Unsure.
Why?
“It might upset people.”
“It could cause distress.”
But when I ask how?, there’s no real answer.
STAND doesn’t even mention child abuse directly. There’s nothing emotionally manipulative or graphic about it. It’s simply the truth—and that is what makes people uncomfortable
The Hard Truth is – Children Are Already Distressed
In my experience, the conversation around child protection is still wrapped in layers of hesitation—concerned about upsetting people, maintaining balance, and not causing distress.
But here’s what so many fail to see:
Children are already distressed and they are already dealing with the consequences of adult discomfort.
They are already carrying the weight of silence, dismissal, and unspoken fears.
The fear of making people uncomfortable cannot come at the cost of children’s safety.
If we keep softening the message, avoiding the raw reality of what happens when abuse is ignored, minimized, or mishandled, then we are failing the very people we claim to protect.
It is not alarmist to tell the truth. It is necessary.
And if we are too afraid to have these conversations, how can we expect children to speak up when something is wrong?
One of the biggest challenges parents face—without even realising it—is emotional disconnection.
When we haven’t processed our own pain, when we’ve been taught to suppress difficult emotions, we struggle to hold space for others—especially our children.
A child who senses that their emotions overwhelm a parent will stop bringing them.
A child who feels their distress is too much will learn to silence themselves.
A child who isn’t met with presence will find someone else to listen—and that someone isn’t always safe.
If we want to protect our children, we must first learn to recognise and hold our own emotions.
Because when we understand our own emotional responses, we can:
• Recognise when something doesn’t feel right.
• Trust our instincts instead of dismissing them.
• Respond to our children’s emotions instead of reacting from our own fear.
This is how we break the cycle of silence.
It’s Time to Take a Stand!
And this is exactly why STAND: Parents as Protectors exists—to give parents the tools they need to reconnect and regulate, to recognise the invisible tactics used by perpetrators, to slow down and trust their instincts, and to create a culture where children feel safe to speak.
If we truly care about child safety, we have to stop prioritising adult discomfort over children’s protection.
The question isn’t whether this conversation is difficult. It is.
The question is: Are we willing to have it anyway?
Join us for the Free STAND: Parents as Protectors online workshop.
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