What a year it’s been.

I’m in my 50’s and finally, I’m in tune with who I am.

That sounds dramatic but it’s true.

The 1-2-1 support with A Positive Start is hard to put into words. So I’ll paint a picture.

Last summer I was terrified to leave my house, often scared to leave my favourite spot in my living room. I only went out when I needed to and I only communicated when I had no option. All I felt was fear or emptiness. I was existing, day to day with no ability to look ahead other than in terms of chores or bills. I felt lost and numb, angry but not sure why.

When I first went to APS I would go early but stand outside, timing arrival with cigarettes, pacing around, building up the courage, no matter the weather.

I worked with a lived experienced practitioner, and over time I met the team, talking a bit more every week. I chatted with the team, even shared a coffee as the months passed.

There was a shift.

I started to feel comfortable and heard. A feeling of safety I hadn’t expected nor experienced in any other support setting or system.

I felt trusted by and trust my therapist and the entire team at APS. A feeling that grew as my confidence and self awareness grew.

Over the months I started to create art again, to write again. I went outside more. I bought food I actually liked. I saw I had choices and power.

I opened up, not just about my experiences, which in itself was a first, but also in my approach to life. Seeing opportunities and possibilities instead of just worry or limits.

A safe space is more than guidelines and procedures. It’s a current of truth that runs through everyone and everything.

Support is more than asking questions and providing predetermined solutions. It’s person based, adaptive and open.

A Positive Start, the entire team and their message, their work and energy gave me more than therapy; they gave me hope.

Previous therapies and counselling had been short and one directional. In the past my experience of counselling had been they’d decide what was “wrong” and fix it by directing my actions and prescribing techniques to master. Whilst some of this was useful, a lot was unreachable for me emotionally at that point. When I could do as expected, didn’t respond as they described I felt failure and more fear. I felt stupid and as if I was beyond saving.

A Positive Start is completely different to any support I’ve encountered before. Their approach is fresh and positive and founded in authenticity and possibility. They opened the door to potential and self understanding, helping me to see me and to see beyond today.

I will be grateful always for their support and belief, their gentleness and smiles. Their deep understanding of trauma and its life long impacts and their commitment to helping people reconnect with themselves and the world around them

The course is brilliant. I’m only about a 1/4 if the way through but it is really opening my eyes to the ways abuse and grooming is insidious in our culture and how it is even celebrated. The way we are groomed to question our own instincts and nervous system awareness is scary. It is becoming clear that we teach our children to do the same and how this makes them susceptible to being exploited.

I have a social work degree and over 10 years practice with children and families and have never been taught this perspective before. Thank you.

STAND: Parents as Protectors Program (Online) 

FEEDBACK FOR STAND

Before I made a start to STAND online – Parents as Protectors, I had previously met Deborah at A Positive Start for some incredibly supportive, compassionate and educating one-to-one trauma informed sessions as part of my individual healing journey.  With each session not only did I gain and feel a far deeper understanding of my childhood, adult life, choices, traumatic experiences, relationships, and ultimately my authentic self but with new tools and encouraging suggestions of keeping a journal/writing things down (from positive affirmations to my persistent nightmares), I also have found myself more hopeful, more aware and wise, more able to feel joy and be much more at peace.  I was keen to continue to be more informed as a parent and strengthen my protective instincts.  With huge gratitude, what I hadn’t anticipated was just by how much. This course gives you the opportunity to get curious and know yourself better, how your own responses and regulation are key in safeguarding with meaningful tools and techniques you can use to avoid reacting with old survival memories.  To be able to carry this forward, keep my child even safer by sharing and modelling this deeper knowledge is incredibly enlightening and empowering.  It can then also help our children recognise how to protect themselves.  Knowledge becomes action.  ‘It starts with us and this is a gift’!

 

I had not initially been expecting to feel as passionate about the take aways from course material as I now do, maybe because having worked in social services/residential care with children and young people with previous generic training and experience I had thought I will have studied a lot of this before, but I have had my eyes completely opened from new perspectives and absolutely for the better.  What I thought I knew about grooming dynamics, subtle influence, invisible seduction, manipulation tactics and the area of compromise was actually limited.   Stop.  Think.  Act.  Never Doubt.  I feel far lighter in my carrying of shame for not always having listened to my gut instincts about some people in my personal life and the thoughts, ‘What if they HAD intended to hurt my child?  What was it that made me override my instincts and be easy to manipulate?’.

This course beautifully isn’t about blame, it’s about becoming better equipped particularly when we are feeling dysregulated or don’t yet have self trust.  It offers the opportunity for a compassionate deep dive and honest reflection no matter what your circumstances, experiences or walk of life in a world that can be complex and one in which any of us can make mistakes.  STAND with the non-judgemental support offered can help us recognise this, and enable us to make intentional and protective action plans.  Understanding more clearly the barriers to disclosures of abuse and why a child’s silence often feels safer than speaking out is invaluable.

STAND is very accessible because it offers an introductory group video call which is safe, gentle and can feel just as supportive with Deborah’s expertise and compassionate presence as with in-person.  You can protect your privacy/be off camera should you wish, or easily watch it more comfortably at a later date.  I felt encouraged and keen to grow and protect my child and others best I can throughout the entire course.  There is something deeply powerful about reflecting and writing on your own experiences as you work through the module worksheets in your own space, as opposed to solely listening or reading.  I was engaged throughout the course material.  Deborah herself has been a constant, protecting, enriching and professional presence for motivation, education, empathetic individual feedback with each piece of work which I personally know will all have lasting change going forward in safeguarding children.  It is ideal being able to work through each module at your own pace, allowing your own time for reflection and pause, realisation, putting the new framework and tools into practice and being able to feel your own growth as a parent/caregiver.

I welcomed the positive affirmations on worksheets and in videos, with added supportive group check-in messages which were reassuring and kind no matter where you were currently in the course.  Regular mention of individual support available should you like it was reassuring to know you matter and someone is there for you.  You are encouraged to reach out at any time particularly useful if you feel some topics are heavy or overwhelming.  

The joining instructions for Google Classroom were easy to understand, even to someone like myself with little interest in technology/software applications but I found my way around and actually enjoyed the format and new challenge.  

Up until this year I had genuinely not realised the profound impact that lived experience-led practice can have.  The strength, bravery and wisdom of others sharing lived experience to create this course, in turn inspires your own awareness and honest reflection.  STAND is helping myself and my child be true to our own individual values and be better protected from manipulation and harm with clearer communication, more self worth and healthier boundaries.  

“We all have a story. A line of events that have shaped our personality, our point of view, the way we perceive the world and how we treat others. Life is full of cruelty, injustice and violence that affects everyone more or less, but if affects us and leaves its mark. Having a place of comfort, a person like my therapist offers a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

I consider myself incredibly lucky. I was raised by a loving Mom in every aspect, supportive and empathetic. Still, I got issues! Traumas evolved in anxiety, feeling that I am not good enough. I struggled with my personal demons and although on the outside I was smiling and appeared completely fine, my inside was shattered.  

I always wanted to try therapy but the stigma of ‘crazy person’ and most of all, the cost of the sessions was a barrier that I couldn’t overcome. I met my practitioner for the first time in September of 2022. She had been recommended by a friend and so I instantly got in touch. It was almost like the universe was giving me a sign, a direction to go in. I really didn’t know what to expect, I was anxious & had doubts. I was on the verge of changing my life completely. Guided by unresolved childhood traumas and impulse – I was lost. 

The first session was an amazing experience. It is hard to describe but if you can imagine being stuck in a cage. A locked box with no key and no obvious way out, and then you find this person, who shows you that your cage only seems to be shut but in reality it is not only open, but has no walls so you can leave anytime you choose and decide for yourself which way you want to go. She explains that nothing is carved in stone and as long as you are with your own, personal truth you can do what you want, you can shape your reality and design your life to be truly happy. 

She guides you the way out of the darkest hole and shows you the light. 

The emotional support received at A Positive Start has changed my life. It has helped me to understand what matters and what is real in contrast to an illusion, that only seems to be reality but isn’t. I am so very grateful for the support and guidance received, I don’t know where I would be without it. 

My personal opinion is that everyone should at least once in their lifetime have a support session.
Treat it like a part of a general mental health check up, like when you go to have an eye or an hearing test, you should also check if your brain is aligned with your body. 

Its such a massive shame and huge loss that mental health conditions are marginalised and stigmatised so often. 

We all struggle and we all need to get help sometimes. The support I received from my practitioner at APS; her empathy, insight and understanding, support and care makes this happen, supporting to people when they need it the most”