Lived Experience Insight
Trauma alters our perception ..
Very many years ago …
although my eyes were showing me that connection, belonging, joy, love, calm, safety, happiness, peace etc existed… it only existed for others as far as I was concerned… It was impossible to comprehend that the same things were available to me… I was aware of their existence but excluded from ever experiencing them..
While trapped in this space.. No amount of ‘preaching’ was able to convince me of anything else.. I did not believe I could change either my situation or the outcome – and what we believe- is true!
If you are familiar with Polyvagal Theory, this is a nervous system in a Dorsal Vagal state..
I remember sitting in a solicitor’s waiting room and on the wall was a picture of a quote that read;
‘If you think you can, and if you think you can’t -you are probably right’
– Henry Ford..
I stared at it ..
I read it over and over in my mind .. I felt the realisation hit my body…
a lightbulb moment.. an awakening… eureka!
While this may be blatantly obvious to everyone else but me .. from this pit it the ground where I existed .. because of altered perception… because of being trapped in a situation for long periods of time with was no obvious escape or solution (CPTSD) this came as a complete revelation..
In that moment something I had never considered hit me, I had realised there are always two opposing sides .. happy/sad, hot/cold, wet/dry, dark – light! A light had switched on at the end of the tunnel and I was able to use it to find my way out…
Whenever the terror or the anxiety that was plaguing my life struck.. I reminded myself to bring to mind what the opposite truth might be … even if I couldn’t see it..
I am reminded of the experience on seeing a post this morning here on LinkedIn that read ..
Perspective is Everything
Discomfort – Growth
Problems – Challenges
Rejection – Redirection
Darkness – Light
Failure – Lessons
Fears – Teachers
Pain – Power
Hurt – Compassion
False – Truth
Bad – Good
Sadness – Joy
Loss – Hope
Interpersonal Neurobiology and the Human Connectome studies have shown how Integration = Wellbeing
Finding ways to change perspective was the first step in the healing process…. presenting an exit route in a round dark room that previously had no doors…
What was your first step? What will your first step look like?