Lived Experience Blog
When People Try to Turn Others Against You
It’s something we see everywhere — from gutter media & politics to workplace bully's, even within families, so called friendships and community groups. Someone hears something they don’t like or disagrees with your truth, and instead of having a respectful conversation, they try to influence…
How Far is “Farthest”? Rethinking the Language of Welfare and Worth
When the Department for Work and Pensions classifies someone as “furthest from the labour market,” it might sound like neutral language — a simple policy term. But for the person it describes, already living in a state of survival, it can feel like a final verdict. “Farthest” sounds unreachable.…
4 Years
Convicted of a less serious offence” “Cleared of more serious charges” “Prostitution related offences” “Is now a mentor and advocate….his six-week business course that he's been teaching fellow inmates, "Mr. Combs can reach so many more on the outside than he can on the inside." “Transported male…
The Streets of…
“Let me take you by the hand.. And lead you through the streets of London Show you something to make you change your mind” Lyrics from a well known song by Ralph McTell, released in 1969. I wish the world I knew could be shown to those who don’t see it. That I could take them by the hand, lead…
17 Years of A Positive Start: From Rock Bottom to Rising Strong
Seventeen years ago today, I began a journey that I called A Positive Start. At the time, I’d been working on myself for a while, trying to make sense of why I kept ending up back at square one. The thing about dysregulation and survival mode is that while you’re living in it, you don’t see it —…
The Experience of Incongruence: When Words and Energy Don’t Match
There’s a moment we’ve all felt but can’t always explain — when something feels off. The words sound calm, kind, even loving, yet something inside contracts. Your stomach tightens, your breath shortens, and your body whispers, something isn’t right. That moment is the experience of incongruence —…
Powerhouse
Do I want to set the world on fire? Not really, can you imagine the mess. But I do want to shine a light. Some of us use our position to do so, our knowledge and experience, certificates and status. Some of us use our wisdom, insights and truth. Some use the arts, creativity shaping our vision.…
From Dysregulation to Evil: When Fear Becomes Power and Systems Lose Humanity
Understanding How Disconnection Shapes Behaviour, Narcissism, and Harm When we begin to recognise dysregulation in ourselves, we start to see it everywhere — in others, in relationships, in workplaces, and within the very systems that shape society. What begins as an individual survival response —…
Through the Windows of the Nervous System
How Our Inner State Shapes the Way We See the World In the same room, three people stand side by side — yet each looks out of a different window. One sees harmony. Another sees chaos. The third sees hell. These three windows represent how we experience life through our nervous system. Each window…
What It Really Means to Be Trauma-Informed and Person-Centred
The terms trauma-informed and person-centred are often used in today’s conversations about wellbeing, education, and social care — but rarely do they capture the depth of what these approaches truly mean. Being trauma-informed is not about excusing poor behaviour or avoiding accountability. It’s…