Blog
Coercive Behaviour
Those of us with lived experience of toxic environments and oppressive relationships, recognise the familiar territory of coercive, manipulative behaviours which I’ve written about a lot over the years in my blog posts and abuse prevention workshops. ‘Narcissist’, has become…
"If you pin me to my past, you forbid me a future, Judgements are built to last, Let my conscious be my tutor".... Above is the first line of a poem written by me aged 14 entitled Judgement. By the tender age of 14, I had already developed an incredibly low opinion of myself which I…
Manipulation
The 3 C’s of Manipulation Control People who manipulate and abuse others, begin by taking control of the situation. Keen observers, they seek vulnerability in others, instinctively knowing who to target and how. They will use their knowledge, skills, charm, charisma, gaslighting and powers…
Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that causes victims to doubt and question their own judgement, reality, self-perception and sometimes their sanity. Gas-lighters twist and distort the truth in order to manipulate, confuse and control their victims. The term…
A Positive Start
Saturday morning, its 6am and the sun is streaming through the crack in the curtains. With a hot cup of black coffee in hand, I sit down at my computer in my home-office (aka spare bedroom), as is my usual routine. I’m fully intent on mapping out my explanations of why the Funding providers…
S.T.A.N.D© is an acronym for Stop, Think, Act, Never Doubt – A trauma informed response to be applied in situations when an individual may be triggered by the behaviours of others. Developed in 2014 for Adverse Childhood Experience’s trauma support, S.T.A.N.D©…
Lifting The Mask of Persona
Narcissistic Traits Increasingly, the term; ‘Parental Narcissistic Traits‘ is being used to describe the childhood experience of a generation of adults brought-up in a strict and controlling, often toxic, sometimes religious environment. Now adults; many of these children are seeking…
Religion and Spirituality
Religion and Spirituality Just the mention of the word 'God', has been enough in years gone by, to make me want to turn away, to switch off and roll my eyes knowingly. The words "oh, here we go - more preaching" echoing in my mind. From as far back as I can remember, I have been aware of God. God…
A Message To The Confrontational
Don't ever stop, standing up for yourself! Being a confrontational person is not a bad thing. In fact, in a world where our rights, our opinions and our way of life are constantly under scrutiny by those around us, it is a gift to be able to stand up and say your piece without worrying about the…
Know Thy Self
The beliefs that we hold about ourselves shape our choices and our lives. The meaning we apply to the behaviours of others as children, often shapes our beliefs about ourselves. We are said do have accepted our conditioned thinking by the time we reach the tender of age of three years old. If I…