Before we can begin to cope with an abusive relationship, we must first be able to recognise that it's abusive.

The very nature of the abusive relationship can leave victims confused and uncertain of which way to turn.  They will often question whether the relationship is indeed abusive, or if the problem is with them; “I’m over-sensitive” ” I take things the wrong way” or ” I’m reading too much into it”, ideas reinforced by the abuser.

Abusers tend to be  extremely manipulative, recognising the abuse is the first step to escaping it.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that causes victims to doubt and question their own judgement, reality, self-perception and sometimes their sanity.

Gas-lighters twist and distort the truth in order to manipulate, confuse and control their victims.

Gaslighting is only one aspect of manipulation used by an abuser. When we care about someone, especially someone who appeared to be ‘perfect’ in our eyes in the initial stages of the relationship, it can be difficult for our heart to accept what our heads already know to be true!

Understanding the 3 C’s of Manipulation and how they work, may help to start lifting the fog of confusion and seeing things as they really are.