Control

People who manipulate and abuse others, begin by taking control of the situation. Keen observers, they seek vulnerability in others, instinctively knowing who to target and how. They will use their knowledge, skills, charm, charisma, gaslighting and powers of persuasion to convince people of things that they may not otherwise be inclined to trust.  In Grooming Behaviours, we refer to this as ‘The Invisible Seduction’.

Confuse

People who manipulator others, aim to confuse. They may overwhelm their victims with unnecessary information, focusing and narrowing their attention while preventing them from ‘stopping and thinking’. This may be experienced by the victim as overwhelm or bombardment. Should the victim be given the opportunity to stop and think, they may realize how awkward or uncomfortable they feel, which is dangerous territory for a manipulator who has an agenda.

Compromise

The manipulator’s intention is to obtain an outcome that is in some way beneficial for themselves, often, without any consideration to the victim or the consequences that the victim will face.
An unsuspecting victim may assume they are reading too much into a manipulator’s actions, failing to recognise the manipulator’s true intentions due to gaslighting and the manipulators coercive behaviours. As a result, the victim is often left confused and compromised, having inadvertently responded in a way that may not be of their choosing and which may not reflect the victim’s true values or beliefs.